Tend the Garden You Can Touch
“Tend the Garden You Can Touch”. I’m not quite sure where I hear this quote but recently I had heard this in reference to focusing on what we can control in the midst of so much uncertainty. This idea is a good example of focusing on our Locus of Control. You may be asking yourself what you really do have control over right now when life can be feeling out of control. Read on for some suggestions for how to navigate these feelings.
First, let’s start by defining Locus of Control. It is basically how you see the things that happen in your life—do you feel like you have control, or do you think outside forces are calling the shots?
The Two Types of Locus of Control:
Internal Locus of Control:
You believe your choices, actions, and effort shape your life.
You take responsibility for your wins and losses.
Example: “I got that promotion because I worked my butt off and improved my skills.”
External Locus of Control:
You think life happens to you and that things are mostly out of your hands.
You might blame luck, fate, or other people for what happens.
Example: “I didn’t get the promotion because my boss plays favorites and the system is rigged.”
Your “garden that you can touch” is what you can control. Unfortunately we can’t tend to everyone else’s gardens even though we see they are full of feeds and our neighbors keep poisoning their own crops. So how do you deal with this? Try working through this exercise to organize your thoughts and decide on the actions you can take to nurture your garden:
Step 1: Identify the Fear
Think about and list your specific fear related to civil rights. Be as detailed as possible.
What specific civil rights issue worries you the most?
How does this fear affect your emotions, thoughts, and daily life?
What do you fear might happen in the future?
📝 Example: "I'm afraid that new policies will take away voting rights in my community, making it harder for people like me to have a voice."
Step 2: Sort Into “Within My Control” vs. “Out of My Control”
Divide your concerns into two lists:
✔️ Within My Control: (Things I can take action on)
❌ Out of My Control: (Things beyond my direct influence)
📝 Example:
Out of My Control:
What politicians decide
Court rulings
How others vote
Within My Control:
Educating myself and others on voting rights
Volunteering for voter registration drives
Contacting representatives and advocating for change
Step 3: Take One Small Action This Week
Examples of Actions:
✅ Research and share accurate information on civil rights issues
✅ Write to a local representative about concerns
✅ Join a local advocacy or community group
✅ Support organizations protecting civil rights
"Which action feels manageable for you to take this week?"
Step 4: Reframe Fear into Strength
Ask the client to rewrite their original fear statement in a way that empowers them.
📝 Example:
"I'm afraid that my community will lose voting rights." → "I have the power to educate and advocate for fair voting access in my community."
Step 5: Self-Care & Emotional Resilience Plan
Since civil rights fears can be emotionally overwhelming, help the client identify ways to protect their mental health while staying engaged.
🔹 What helps me stay balanced? (E.g., journaling, meditation, limiting news intake)
🔹 Who can I turn to for support? (E.g., a friend, therapist, community group)
🔹 When do I need a break? (E.g., setting boundaries around activism to avoid burnout)
"Empowerment comes from focusing on what we can do rather than what we can’t”. Even small actions contribute to change!